Solstice Night in Santa Cruz

In a far off land, I walk the velvet shore of the Pacific Ocean. Still a stranger here on the west coast, my preferred coast at the moment. I still feel the need to travel. But tonight on the solstice or just one night away, when everything feels so dark and still, I sit here alone and reflect on the year that is fast approaching closure. My morning walks on the ocean have been like medicine for my soul. As the waves slap against the beach, I can feel her reverberation deep inside my solar plexus. I walk barefootie, feeling the cool sand and even in daring moments the icy edge of the water. The sensation sends an ache through my body, enough to avoid the experience until repeating this ritual of pain the next day. The ocean is sooo seductive. The waves are calming, trancing me into a lull of nothingness. Come in for a float, she says. I just watch and long for this "dip" in the most delicious way. Will I ever give it to myself? Like go out a buy and wet suit? I would swim in her then. Or do I just want to savour my longing for this? I am enjoying the longing and savoring the wait. Like knowing that I will be reunited with my Tantric lover on Christmas Day. How special to long for that kind of connection. I can recall a time when these feelings would be overwhelming. Now it is a sweet hum, this tumescence. No doubt a gift of my cronehood. I celebrate this solstice knowing that I am dying to be reborn in every moment. I am leaving behind any hallucination that there is anything lacking in the way my life has unfolded. I am grateful for it all. What a miraculous life! Next stop Chicago.

Choose Green

In everything there is a choice. I choose green, because it's sustainable. I chose to support humankind because it's the loving thing to do. I live as green as I can because it's loving to myself and to my fellow humans, and to the planet I live on. I meditate because it gets me back in touch with that connection, that we are all one. It's very true and we all know it, it's just that we're distracted and we forget. For me it's important, and I recommend to others, that we get reconnected with ourselves and what's important. When we do come from that space, what's important for us is important for everyone. When we operate from that space of the self, everyone wins. It's the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and each other, so why not?

Mount Shasta and Pleasure For One

This particular summer night felt almost balmy. Unusual for the mountain. I was 9000 ft up on breathtaking Mount Shasta which can be windy and cold after sun down, even in July . But this evening was still and warm. I had just gotten back from a long hike lasting till evening and my legs were tired. I had visioned being up here with a lover, but our schedules just weren't congruent. I have been up here many summers before, alone and or with a lover and have always felt that it was more than a camp out. The energy of Mount Shasta and our intention created our time on the mountain to be a sacred journey of renewal and rejuvenation. Tonight as I lay alone in my tent feeling my tired body, I felt a longing to be made love to. I opened the flap of my tent to reveal the majestic view of the snow capped mountain in front of me in the distance. Aaah, I imagined her Presence entering me and began to feel intensely aroused by the thought of masturbating in front of her, with her there to witness me in my most private ritual. I began by taking off all my clothes and lying naked atop my bedding. With the mindfulness of mediation, on each inhalation of my breathe, I imagined the mountain entering into my yoni and each exhalation I surrendered to her power. I placed my left hand upon my heart and my right hand on top of my pelvis feeling the subtle undulation with each breathe. I let out a deep sigh of anticipation. I was feeling so aroused, I felt downright “horny” for myself. I reached for my special massage oil out of my nearby pack. I poured some into my hand and warmed the oil in my palm and then began to stroke my heart in a clockwise and circular motion. As my heart flower opened I felt a yummy all-over sensation of warmth of joy and felt aglow with could be only described as romantic love to this mountain. I was flooded with gratitude for this magical life on this exquisite planet. I felt the depth of my Tantric path allowing me to feel held and loved in every moment, especially one as magnificent as this one.

With each breathe my body became more and more aroused. My yoni was pulsing with life and wanting to be touched. I decided to tease my sacred flower and awaken her slowly, as I love my lover’s to do. I began to stroke ever so lightly the top surface of my pubic hair. The fullness of my mound with her thick mostly dark, wild and unruly hair made me beam with pride. I had cultivated this chaos upon my body, never waivering in the midst of a shaven and trimmed culture, to allow her to be her supremely unbridled self! Yay. For me this felt like my own personal Feminine Empowerment. Getting myself off was starting to feel exquisitely empowering, which was making me extremely wet.

I began to slowly tug at the tips of my pubic hair, awakening the gazillions of nerve endings on the inner lip of my swollen labia majora. I took a deep inhale and could smell the subtle musky scent of my yoni united with the sweet fragrance of the warm mountain night. My exhalation this time came out with a sound that sounded part purr and part growl. Ah my Jaguar Priestess had been released. Perhaps not as much as when I am with a lover, riding his sacred lingham into the total abandonment of the self, merging with the One while ever revealing my soul into the darkest part my shadow and into the brightest beam of my light, but enough to make this ritual an engaging and arousing interplay, between yoni and my expert digits.

I could wait no longer, and insisted that I enter the door of my pulsing temple. Mmmmm, she was slippery and wet. I wanted to taste her and so I did, lifting my drenched middle finger, appropriately the fire finger according to esoteric sciences, to my lips. Her flavors were extraordinarily sweet as I had been mostly fasting, eating only organic fruits and deliberately drinking as much water from her bubbling spring at Panther Meadow as was possible, and then drinking a bit more. Often I would drink so much of her healing and abundant waters, that I would continue to drink even while peeing on her grassy banks. This is often my cleansing ritual that I do every year, living wildly in the woods, fasting, meditating and communing with the stillness of the mountain.

I was feeling enthralled with the exquisite tapestry of turn on, so many feelings and sensations like an intricate tapestry of colors.. Here I was feeling turn on, arousal, spiritual connection to all of creation, a personal, in-love and romantic connection with nature and feeling this divine nourishment to my body and soul.

My sensual play lasted for hours until I fell blissfully asleep. I never did climax, not in the usual sense. Instead I held on to this precious energy and used it to super-charge me until the purrfect moment to release made itself known.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Pleasure

These are our inalienable rights as a human to be. It is so good to be alive! Breathing into the life force energy available in each moment, filling ourselves with activation and awareness. Having the freedom of choice to receive and express this aliveness into yumminess right now. Move freely, speak passionately, connect lovingly with this sensual world. We are all love beings sharing this potential of being. It is our birthright to be free of restriction, judgement and fear. Welcome yourself fully into the unique, open, beautiful self we all are and share it with the world. We are a vehicle of pleasure, good clean fun in the yum, harm none. When we pursue pleasure with an open heart, an aware presence, a sense of wonderment, an honoring the divine in another we naturally arrive into feeling good and true. Discover what pleases you and have the freedom to ask for it. Find out what is yummy for you and offer that to a beloved. It is a rich and amazing time to be alive. In this time of making important choices, remember your are always at choice and everything is meant to be shared. Choose love! For love is all there is.

Changes, so many changes

Life has changed so much for me since moving from our community home in San Rafael last July. I am spending more time alone and beginning a new life as a single occupant in my new bachelorette pad where I am meditating and writing and remembering all the delicious connections from the last 6 months. Now I am embarking on my next mission here on planet Earth. Summer has been a wonderful time of travel and introspection. I spent time camping by myself atop of Mount Shasta, making love to her at night alone in my tent, feeling her power and majesty.
I realize that my cuurent relationship status is monogamous. Monogamous with myself! Self pleasuring has become a deep experience of my feminine power, choosing slow and tender strokes to keep the embers of my desire on a low simmer. My heart feels wide open to all different possibilities. I am listening and waiting for the next step on my journey. Happy Trails!

A Path to Union

Union of spirit, body, heart. What does it mean to have this connection where the two become one and all identity falls away into pure bliss of the moment? By coming into the recognition of awareness of our self and the innate passion that is our existence, we awaken our divine heart. From this place we view one another with tenderness, adoration, respect, and honor as we realize we are the living incarnation of god/goddess. We come to the know the sacredness of our body, blessing and deeply nourishing the self, accessing the radiance of embodiment and opening into bliss consciousness. We crave the connection to share in this experience. As we come to know and feel the sacredness of everything, we soften and deepen our connection with each other. Integrating the bliss until all identity falls away and the heart expands beyond the separation into the passion in action of love and union.

Goddess Revering in Beltane

The Goddess is abounding in her passion and beauty as we celebrate the peek of spring. She is pulsing with life and hungers for the pollination to create the fruit of life in full manifestation. Beltane's fire warms our desire to call her forth into her creative abundance. She is within you, feel her down in the root, rising. Pleasure brings her forth. Take a moment and find what she wants, how does She want to be loved, presenced, seduced, enlivened. I invite you to bring whatever she as you wants into being. Caring and opening and serving each other with this pleasure activation so that we may come fully into embodiment of our beautiful, loving, creative, compassionate selves. Hold presence with the goddess, allow her to come forth and show you the sweet ways she enjoys to be loved. This Beltane is a tantric holiday of union of the masculine and feminine. The celebration of the ecstatic as God and Goddess play in waves of passionate energy, igniting the fires of transformation so that our Divine Spirit can come into being. This marriage is within us, we are the revered Goddess in her glory and we can see and bring that out in others. Our passion can come with just a squeeze of the root charkra to activate kundalini, and in breathing a breath of energy, filling us and rising into light. This is our divine birthright.

Flirting with everyone is yummy

I just visited a party where we learned how to flirt Italian style. The ABC's of this can be a way for us to enter into a more yummy life and so wanted to share with you the tips: A: Abondanza yes, abundance, being in joy full, generous, wanting to share in the richness of life. The only person limiting us to fun in the yum is our own denial that we have to withhold or can't be outgoing out of fear or limitation. Why? Go for it, the universe blesses us, we can share in this abundance so everyone can feel rich and free to be themselves, there is always enough love to go around, actually it is limitless. B: Bella, Beauty, seeing the beauty in all people, no matter what, you can flirt with anyone, everyone has something special and beautiful about them, tell them, affirm it for them, they will then be able to embrace their beauty in the acknowledgment. We all want to be seen, appreciations feel so good, so go for it. Share with everyone their beauty and uniqueness and see how much they light up from having you give this gift to them. C. Coraggio, Courage. I know it is scary to put yourself out there, but really what do you have to loose, we are in abundance afterall..... Overcome the judging, limiting mind that keeps you from being your true dynamic nature of being playful and expressive. In another C,compassion, we all accept each other with unconditional understanding and support. Be not fearful of your magnificence, you are an amazing being and the world is just waiting to see you shine. Imagine a place where we are all uplifting each other into that place. That is yummatopia. So go out, have fun, flirt like you have nothing to loose, enjoy the turn on and the turning on of each other. Yesterday I won the Ms Bay Area Flirt , mostly because I love to be yummy and share that yum with others, bringing out their yummy beautiful selves to interact and connect in. All of us can benefit from being seen, acknowledged and having interest in even for just a few moments.

Importance of Touch and Kissing

Last Saturday we had our first Moosch and Smooch. The evening's intention was to come together and explore the possibilities of touch, holding, and cuddling, as well as ways we can kiss someone without actually sharing any communicable passages. Why does moosching feeling so good? We are defined by touch. When we are alone and separated from another, do we really exist? When we come into contact with another, we share in the sensation and feeling of each other. The hug, the squeeze, the caress, holding and confirming our presence in the world. Our first experiences in life that soothed us and let us relax into peace was when we were held close by our mothers. It is the most basic form of healing. When we connect and in a sense penetrate each other in the moosching of skin on skin, we come into union, we share in a sensational experience with each other, celebrating the enlivenment of ourselves. In kissing we are in a sense sharing breath, the Aloha, lips are the key to our eating,our speaking, our expression, our tasting, our breath passage. In smooching another we share a depth of intimacy, tasting each other, consummating our union of flesh and spirit through breath and fluid exchange (think saliva). The sensations of a hungry mouth consuming and devouring another can be a way of enlivenment in a shared experience of connection. So many ways to kiss: how many can you come up with? So many ways to moosch each other as well: how many ways and places can you think to contact, reach out and touch another in reverence, in playfulness, in full awareness of the sweetness and healing that can be possible. Our next Moosch and Smooch will be May 9th. Come join us, we create a safe, honored, conscious space to explore and play in.

healing foods life's precious gift

In Yummatopia we believe it is essential to have a proper diet. As we come to open our bodies to greater capacity of orgasmic and and higher states of consciousness our bodies are the vehicle. Through the intake of life enhancing foods that heal and rejuvenate us, we are clearer, stronger and able to maintain an excellence of our quality of life. No one is getting sick that is in Yummatopia and I know it is becasue the healing power of the foods offered here keep the bugs away. Green juice and fermented foods such as kraut, living sprouts, fresh fruits, spices of tumeric and garlic, and herbed waters are the focus of our kitchen and we abundantly share this with all our guests in yummatopia. We will be offering raw food cooking classes soon and we also invite yummatopians to come and share meals with us in community. We ar ehere for you to learn to live a more yummy life.

sunday afternoon loving

One of YumMatopia's dreams came true this beautiful Sunday afternoon. Our poly love tribe of interconnected lovers and friends came together for brunch and touch. It started with waking in the morning in one of my lover's arms, listening to the sounds of my sister in the other room waking as well. After an extended snuggle watching the birds consume from the bird feeder and slow caresses and holds, I tear myself away to come into my roomies room and dive into bed with her and her lover for a morning kiss. Sharing the excitement of the night's adventures at Temple of Orgasm and Burnal Equinox, feeling alive from all the dancing and love making, riding the energy still as we roll around the bed laughing and hugging our day into being. A trip to the Marin Farmers Market to buy incredible greens, tamales, and the most sweetest stawberries ever. Coming home to everyone naked sunning themselves out on our outdoor bed. Our neighbors come by with their farmers market booty to share in a brunch. We are so blessed to have one of our tribe across the street to share together our love and support. We all begin to prepare our meal all in the kitchen dancing and laughing, sharing recipe tricks. We go to eat outside together and as I look around I know all of us in some way or another have shared intimacy with at least 2 to 3 in the gathering. After eating we all lay around, massaging and talking (we have an outdoor table, couch and bed) Me doing tantsu, while the flower petals from our trees drop onto us, blessing our love family. Thank you for sharing with me all the beauty and passion that is possible, knowing we can have it all.

spring beauty

The mornings are especially sweet here in yummatopia. Waking to the birds singing their sweet songs. The light is incredible shining into our temple space, doing yoga in the nude in such open space, almost seeming to be out side with the trees blooming the most amazing abundance of pink blossoms, Aphrodite energy. In my mediation I invoke the elements of divine to perfectly combine in this temple consecrated to love and accomplish below that which is above. Juicing the green energy to vitalize my body....I enjoy the rest of my day in bliss, doing tantsu and massage on clients while listening to my fountain, watching the beauty of our home reveal itself in each moment. Friends and lovers come by, I welcome them into the joy of sharing such peaceful and sacred place I can provide becasue the goddess has blessed me with the ability to create a sanctuary. Evening comes and I hike to the top of the hill behind me, such incredible green vibrant and in abundance, the wild life abounding. Offering my prayers of thanks for such a wonderful and blessed day into the setting sun. I celebrate the richness of life and welcome my beloveds to come share with me in the yum.

Tomorrow is the day!

Thomas came by and we ave been busy making raw pies since he arrived. This morning we made yummy love before he left for his business meeting and I began my day. I barely have a moment to jot this down as so many preparations need to be handled. Thank Goddess for Amberzon.
She and one of her loves, Jer are putting some wonderful touches on our temple space. The hammock in the atrium looks fabulous and is a delight to lay on. I know that someone will probably end up sleeping in
it on Saturday night. I love my life. Hope to share it with you.

Anticipation is making me wait....

I am really getting excited about Saturday's Spring Fling party. So many wonderful RSVP's. I am thrilled to know that I will be seeing some really beautiful lovers from years ago. And now all of my lovers get to know each other. I wonder how we will all cross-pollinate, so to speak. I do have eclectic taste in lovers, so it should be fun to see how we all mix with each other. The last few days I have been doing lots of Raw food prep. The crackers are in the dehydrator and the nuts are soaking for the various pates and nut loafs. I am so happy to share my new found joy of raw yummy food with my community.
Tomorrow morning right after Naked Yoga at YumMatopia, Amber and I go shopping for more yummy food and drink. Then on to the decorations, which is my favorite part next to the food prep.
My first chakra feels soo alive and on fire. I am anticipating some beautiful loving from some amazing beings. Thank you Goddess!

Jai Ganesha

Yummatopia welcomes the energy of Ganesha. Remover of Obstacles. This elephant headed hindu god blesses us with wisdom and knowledge and his jolly countenance brings us into the freedom of our celebration. Ganesha aids us in our opening to more yum. Ganesha, protector of the mother goddess, son of Shiva (god of transformation), presiding over the root chakra, which is the foundation of the creative energy called the Kundalini Shakti. Open the way for us into more pleasure, ensure our success and abundance. Ganesha we kiss you lotus feet and ask for your blessing in our endeavors in Yummatopia. Om Gaum Ganapati Namaha.

The Morning After........

What a wondrous life have I! Last night T, my lover and I spent at the House of Yum. Tantsu was happening in the living room and Harold Dull needed a model so I was invited to be the venerable Mr. Dull's model for the Tantsu demo. Tantsu is a delicious massage technique that happens weekly here at Yummatopia, (www.YumMatopia.com) and was actually created by Harold Dull, the creator of Watsu. Anyway after the demo, my spine was supple and I already felt rushes of Kundalini flowing thru me. T. was waiting for me in the Tantric Temple, which we reserved for our Valentine's evening celebration. He had another surprise for me! A slice of my fav raw food, Key Lime pie, aptly named "I am Awakening" from Cafe Gratitude. We started to feed each other this heavenly slice of yum and I felt like I was orgasming on my tongue from the huge explosion of flavors. I decided to use this delightful piece of confection as part of our lovemaking ritual. A moment of inspiration hit me as I put a dab on my beloved's already delicious lingham. The rest of the evening was lots of heartfelt sensual yumming around until we feel asleep cuddling closely cozy together. The morning light brought feelings of heated arousal as we culminated a night of sensuality with some good hard old fashioned "fucking". ;-)
We are heading out to Harbin Hot Springs for the weekend to continue our celebration of love. I feel very blessed. And very well orgasmed. Yummmmm.

Wow what a feeling!

Happy Valentine's Day! I am so elated today, (as usual these days). My sweetheart came down from Eugene on busy-ness and to spend time with me on Valentine's Day. Last night while I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, he laid on our bed beautiful offerings of love: the sweetest card, a Yin Yang candle holder, a large jar of Artesian Coconut Butter and Chinese tonic for my hormones. This morning our Valentine's celebration continued as we brought in the day making the sweetest love. I am very lucky to have someone in my life who is as open hearted and kind as Thomas. My last relationship with a man whose name began with a "T" was with Timothy. In many ways Thomas reminds me of Tim. The obvious first of all, Tim/Tom/Tom/Tim, but in other ways too. The connection feels tender and extremely deep. The major way that Tim and Tom differ is that Tim was monogamous and Tom is more open about our relationship. That feels more like a fit for me, Mars in Gemini has me moving about a lot on the relationship plane. Yet I require depth and consistency in order to really feel like I am in a relationship and not just the "flavor du jour". I am experiencing a similar depth of connection with Tom that I had with Tim, who was monogamous or monomarous. Just words really. Freedom to be is really what it amounts to and the freedom to be whatever the real me, the authentic me in every new and astonishing moment on this planet is, however changeable. I am that. Well that's all for now. I am alive and free and feeling the bliss and passion of embodiment. Goddess Bless!

YumMatopia, my dream community is the femifestation of being on this path. I am so looking ahead to what is next at our House of Yum. I taught naked yoga on Wed. morning. Schedule for classes is at www.YumMatopia.com. Afterwards, I made a great alkaline breakfast for us all and my day was quickly underway. This afternoon after the Farmer's Market, I put up a batch of sauerkraut with the help of a new buddy whom I met at our house warming party last Saturday night. Richard's help made the whole process so much fun. Plus he came by with a cache of yummy special spices in cobalt blue spice bottles. It had the feel of an alchemical ritual! And it will be. In 4 days it will be a healthy fermented dish for my yummy raw crackers. I am doing it. I am really doing mostly RAW and it is fun. And feels very good.

Creation of YumMatopia

How did the yum house become reality? We have been blessed by the forces of god and goddess I believe to create a place where they can play and be honored. Everything has been so easy and a feeling of divine intervention to create this place, which I believe is proof that we are on the right path, doing the right thing and that our intention to create a place where people can come and be in their natural state of expression and ecstasy is totally supported by the universe and the gods. Prayer happens. You can through visualization, clear asking, and be already in the feeling of your intention make anything happen. What do you want to create? What is your deepest dream? There is an energy available to us of transformation and in positive loving trust and belief and intention to serve our own and humaity's enlightenment we are in attraction. This home and all the blessings is proof.

Be sure to visit http://www.yummatopia.com